Cherry Lips
by Isabella Medici
Summary: Ten years after the Arcobaleno curse was broken, Varia are faced with a serious question; a question that is troubling them so much they are determined to resolve it at any cost; a question so nerve-wracking it won't let them sleep at night until they find the out the truth; a question so big its affecting even their boss. A question ... is Mammon a man or a woman?
1. Male?

_29th of May _

_04:00 pm_

_Southern Italy_

_Varia HQ_

_Dining room_

The infamous group of assassins was eating peacefully, which meant either boss was in extremely bad mood and everyone was pretending not to feel waves of murderous aura coming from the head of the table, or something troubled each of them deeply. This time, it was both: boss was in extremely bad mood and this troubled them deeply.

As always, Squalo dared to break the wall of silence. "Vooii, where's Mammon?" His voice was uncharacteristically quiet, as he did not want to receive another glass to the head - or something worse, like a candle stand. Knowing that shitty boss, he'd aim it candles first, in hopes of burning his hair.

"Probably working," Bel grinned.

"That guy is always working on something behind our backs. I never trusted him," Levi murmured, sticking his nose in the air like a snobbish woman.

"Haaaah." Flan blinked at him. Then, tilting his head to the side, he said to no one in particular: "I've been wondering for a while ... but why does Levi-senpai refer to Mammon-senpai as a guy? I always thought he was a girl."

Lussuria and Squalo slowly lowered their forks, Belphegor froze and Leviathan dropped his knife.

"What are you talking about?"

Flan turned to his captain and raised his finger in the air. "Because ... she has those lips, doesn't she?"

Varia stared at him. Bel tilted his head.

"You know ... she has, how do you say it, ah, eeeehhhh, eeetttoooo ... right, she has _cherry lips_."

Assassins stared in silence, until Lussuira's cheeks went pink and he wiggled on his chair. "Kyaaa~ I noticed it too! Our little flower! No wonder she's so cold to us, how else is a girl going to survive-"

"He's not a damned woman!" Squalo pounded his fist on the table, making saucers and cutlery jump, which earned him a paralyzing death stare from Xanxus.

"That's true," Levi began eating again calmly, "there's no way he's a woman." He ate a piece of meat, when lighting of sudden realization struck him, the chewed piece of meat falling out of his opened mouth. _A-although ... i-if ... Mammon would be ... if Mammon would be female ..._

Leviathan's imagination kicked into overdrive. _Mammon, with a delicious curvy body, tight black stockings with suspenders, skin-tight miniskirt and a corset that threatened to spill her breasts out any second, was blushing and crying in a desperate voice: "Oh no, oh no! I forgot Fantasma again! Boss will spank me if I don't finish this mission properly! Help me Levi!"_

_Leviathan, busting out his chest like Tarzan, immediately helped her out. "Geez Mammon, again? But I can't be angry with you, you're so cute! Alright, I'll help you out!"_

_"Really? Thank you Levi! Mu mu ... you're so manly. Maybe ..." Mammon blushed harder, "... maybe Mammon will become love-love over you"_

_"Oh ho ho, you cute little thing!"_

_"Kyaaa~ Levi~"_

"GOOD! THAT'S GOOD! YES!" Leviathan screamed passionately.

"Aaa~ah, Levi-senpai is burning in ecchi flames. As expected. My first impression of him as a disgusting pervert was right after all."

"S-shut up Flan!"

"No wonder Mammon-senpai hides herself in that cloak."

"Do you want to die!"

"Bel-chan, Bel-chan," Lussuria ignored the pair, "is Mammon-chan female or male?"

Silence fell over Varia's dining table once more, but this time, all eyes were on Belphegor.

"Hrm?" Bel slightly raised his head. Officers stared him down. A single drop of sweat came running down his cheek.

"The prince ... doesn't know."

"Fuck!" Squalo yelled, standing up, slapping his palms on the table. "If this brat doesn't know, then how the hell are we supposed to know?"

"If you want my opinion ..."

"Shut up, you damned brat!"

"Fuck off Flan!"

"Zip it, frog!"

"... how rude. As I was saying, if you want my opinion, the reason you can't determine Mammon-senpai's gender is because all of you have no idea about anything concerning women."

"BAH!" Squalo waved a fist at teal-haired illusionist. "What is there to know about women? They're idiots! They're all the same, they're THE SAME! They're superficial bitches full of bullshit excuses! You ask them out and they're all like _nooo, I'm afraid of your sharp teeth _and _nooo, why are you kidnapping me_ and _nooo, you murdered my family_! Stupid women! They're all crazy!"

Lussuria, Leviathan and Bel watched their captain with opened mouths.

"Well," Flan blinked, "we now know where all that energy our captain has comes from. It's sexual frustration."

"Ha, ha, ha, ha!"

"Oh my, Squ, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

"Shishishishishi~"

"Fuck you bastards I'll kill you all! Starting with this foul-mouthed kid!"

"But," Flan raised his hands up in defense, "it just proves you all know nothing about women. Therefore, there's no way you could know if Mammon-senpai is one."

Three knives flew in Flan's hat. "As if you know anything about them. And don't put me in the same drawer as Squalo and Levi. The prince is popular with ladies, shishishi."

"In that case," Leviathan's eyes sparkled evilly, "why don't you introduce us to them?"

"Eh?" The corner of Bel's mouth twitched.

"Your female fans, fake prince. You say you have them, where are they?" Flan's comment earned him another knife.

"That's not important, we're getting off topic. Of course there must be an easy way for us to know which gender Mammon is."

"Nice save," illusionist gave him a thumbs up, as a vein popped on Belphegor's head.

"Give her chocolates!" Squalo suddenly screamed. Lussuria raised his eyebrows. "Squ ... why?"

"Women only eat sugary shit!"

"Captain, that's physically impossible."

"Shishishi, true ..."

"If the runt eats them, she's a woman! If he doesn't, he's a man!"

"No way." Lussuria pouted cutely. "I think we should talk Mammon into a makeover! If she .. he ... _it_ puts on different clothes, we can see what _it_ is just from the shape of the body."

"Hah! Foolish!" Levi closed his eyes, crossed his arms and smirked. "If you want to confirm someone's gender, there's only one way to do it."

Varia stared at him excitedly.

Levi snapped his eyes open. "Marilyn Monroe!"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"I said, _Marilyn Monroe_! We put a fan under Mammon's cloak and the wind will blow-"

Plate full of food hit him right in the middle of his face; courtesy of Belphegor.

"We should have known this guy would come up with something like this," Flan flatly commented.

"The prince has a solution, as always. Mammon should be sweet-talked to."

"Are? Senpai? You're going to sweet-talk her?"

"Ha! I'd like to hear that!" Squalo smirked.

"If I do it, Mammon would be suspicious. We should call Bucking Bronco."

"We're not calling that guy!" Captain's hair stuck up in every direction, as if struck by electricity.

"Yare, yare, you're all so loud."

Mammon entered the dining room. Varia immediately fell silent. For a moment, Mammon pondered over the officers' sudden change in behavior, but it left the illusionist's mind quickly. Sitting down, the person of questionable gender slowly took a ladle full of soup. Suddenly feeling extremely uneasy, Mammon looked up a little. Flan, Belphegor, Squalo, Leviathan and Lussuria were observing illusionists' every move with suffocating intense glares.

"... You were talking about me."

"No!"

"What? No!"

"Who the fuck would, fucking baby!"

"No way."

"Only a little."

Another three knives flew in Flan's hat.

Suddenly, Xanxus hit the table with his fist. Varia immediately straightened their backs, their hearts beating quickly. But boss ignored them, his burgundy eyes staring in Mammon with such tension, officers began to sweat nervously and Flan swallowed loudly.

_Boss, you want to know too_, Lussuria thought.

_What will be his tactic?_ Squalo wondered.

_Boss will surely found out_, Belphegor grinned a little.

_He won't just tear off her clothes, will he?_ Flan was worried.

_Go boss! I believe in you!_ Levi smiled victoriously.

A shadow fell over Xanxus' eyes. "Go make me a sandwich."

Varia forze in split second.

_Fucking dumbass boss! How the hell is that gonna determine anything!_ Squalo's eye was twitching.

_B-boss ... you ..._ Lussuria was almost pitying him.

_So even boss doesn't know how to go about it, eh._ Bel's mouth stretched into a doubtful smile.

_Boss! Don't mind!_ Levi gave Xanxus an encouraging look that latter didn't notice.

Mammon stayed unfazed. "Boss, if you don't like the diner, I'll go ask the chef to make you a sandwich."

The illusionist left, leaving behind bewildered colleagues.

"That didn't accomplish anything!" Squalo gave his boss the evil eye, but Xanxus leaned back in his chair, already back to not giving a shit anymore.

"But we did discover something new about boss," Flan raised his finger up again. "His perception of women is as messed up as captain's."

"Fuck off you brat! I'll slice you in three pieces!"

Lussuria tapped his fingers on the table irritably. "We should go with my idea, it's the best one."

"No, you should listen to the prince."

"I'll buy a fan ..."

"I'll do it my way!"

Squalo, Lussuria, Levi and Bel left the room, arguing. The heavy doors of dining room closed shut with an echoing sound. Flan, still eating, and Xanxus, peacefully sleeping, were left in silence.

"You know, you could just ask her directly, stupid ..." Illusionist murmured in his plate.

* * *

**Please, if you enjoy it, leave me a review! It'll make me happy :) This will be a short story - probably three chapters. I'll make new chapter ASAP!**

**Mammon is, of course, ten years older, and for the sake of this story, please add a few years to her/him. I imagine her/him 16-19 years old; because I'm not gonna write about a 13-year old kid getting harassed by grown men.**


	2. Female?

_30th of May_

_10:00 am_

_Southern Italy_

_Varia HQ_

_Right wing_

_Fourth floor_

_The second corridor_

"... and when you're finished with the task, report to me immediately," Mammon calmly ordered two random Varia subordinates. The illusionist turned to walk away, but remembered something important. "Ah, right, right. The code-"

A gush of wild wind suddenly shocked them, making Mammon's clothes dance around like a black mess of sheets was flying on the spot. The wind slowly ceased. When the cloak fell down silently and remained completely still, Mammon turned around.

Levi stood there, holding a big fan in his hands, looking at his colleague with utmost concentration.

"Levi ... what are you doing?"

"Hmph. Nothing."

_30th of May_

_10:16 am_

_Southern Italy_

_Varia HQ_

_First floor_

_Kitchen_

Mammon quietly walked to the refrigerator. Reaching for the handle, the refrigerator made a strange noise, shaking a little.

"Mu mu?"

Slowly, Mammon opened the door. A wild gush of wind immediately blew from inside, but the illusionist grabbed the hood and protected his or her face. The wind subsided after a few seconds. Mammon let go of the hood, looking inside the refrigerator.

All of Varia's food and drinks, along with refrigerator's shelves, were removed. Instead, Leviathan was there, crouched in uncomfortable position, holding a big fan, glaring at Mammon.

"Levi ... what are you doing?"

"Hmph. Nothing. Close the door."

"..."

"What are you waiting for? Hurry. Close the door."

Mammon slowly closed the door. Standing there, the illusionist stared at the refrigerator for a moment, then turned and walked away ... passing Xanxus, who was lurking around the Varia mansion with intention of doing nothing all day except beating up Squalo and eating meat. And Squalo was nowhere to be found, so ...

The feared boss opened the refrigerator, only to have strong wind blow in his face. A hand quickly stretched out and greedily took a hold of Xanxus' shirt, pulling with all its might. Buttons flew everywhere as a voice yelled:

"Now show me your breasts, you cute little thing!"

The wind ceased. Levi smirked.

"Heh. O-oh?"

His eyes travelled over Xanxus' torn shirt, ripped tie, naked chest, up to his face. Burgundy orbs were hidden by the shadow that fell over boss' eyes.

"I-I'm so sorry! Boss, are you alright? I'm sorry! Boss!"

Xanxus' scar spread over his face.

_30th of May_

_11:30 am_

_Southern Italy_

_Varia HQ_

_Left wing_

_Third floor_

_First corridor_

" ... that's why strategy captain Squalo has been in his room all day, shishishi."

"Don't be so happy, Bel."

Mammon and Belphegor walked down the hallway.

"Next time, you will be the target of the boss."

"No way. The prince isn't-"

"HIIIYYYAAAA!"

Leviathan, covered in bandages, one eye so black and swollen he couldn't open it, threw himself on the floor, between Mammon's legs, holding a large fan.

"Show me the truth!"

The fan blew a gush of wind up Mammon's cloak. Levi's eyes widened, a small blush on his cheeks. _J-just a little more ... and I'll see ... if I raise the fan a little higher, I'll see-_

CRASH!

Belphegor stepped on Leviathan's nose, breaking it.

"_Gwaaaah_! Damn you Bel- _graaahhh_!"

The prince didn't allow his colleague to speak; he kept kicking his head and stepping on his nose. Mammon calmly observed the pair.

"Bel ... what is Levi doing?"

"Ah ... er ... hrm ... nothing."

_30th of May_

_02:30 pm_

_Southern Italy_

_Happy Maid café_

The bright strawberry-colored café was buzzing with feminine laughter and waitresses, which were dressed in pale pink maid uniforms, calling to each other cutely. The white tables were small and round, pictures of delicious colorful desserts everywhere, along with a vast glass display of cakes the café offered.

"Strategy captain Squalo," Mammon said, no hint of any sort of emotions in illusionist's voice, "why are we sitting here? To think you know such a place, too."

Squalo, sitting next to Mammon, gritted his teeth in embarrassment and pushed a plate full of cute cupcakes in front of his officer.

"Shut up and eat this!"

"Isn't this too suspicious? What did you put in them?"

"Nothing you idiot!"

"Hmmm ... you're paying for this, right?"

"_Squalo_!"

Sudden cheerful voice made them turn around. Dino Cavallone walked over to them, looking unusually happy.

"I can't believe I'm seeing you here! What a … oh, sorry, am I interrupting something?" The young head of Cavallone family quickly took in the situation … and misunderstood it.

"Finally, Squalo! A date! Aren't you happy?"

"It's not a date, you stupid-"

"But …" Dino looked at Mammon. "Hmmm. I don't want to offend you Mammon, but … are you male or female?"

Squalo held his breath.

"Mu, an irrelevant question. The answer to that is also irrelevant."

"Fucking brat!" Swordsman lost it, pounding his fist on the table, making dessert spoons and plates jump violently. "What the fuck is wrong with you!"

"I see! I see!" Dino's eyes sparkled as he turned back to Squalo. "So you go both ways!"

"Wha- I DO NOT! VOOOOIII! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM? I'M NOT A FAG!"

"M-my mistake, then. Sorry," Cavallone dropped his gaze to the floor sadly. "But Squalo, I didn't think you knew such a place."

"That's what I'm wondering too."

"Shut up! It's the first time I'm here! I saw it today by accident!"

"Ah!" A very pretty girl in maid uniform stopped by the table, smiling at the swordsman. "Master, welcome back!"

Squalo forze, as Dino gave a quiet "ehehe" behind his back.

"I didn't think we'd see you again! I thought the manager forbid you to come here after that accident with Vittoria last week."

Mammon turned to captain. "What accident?"

"Nothing! I have no idea what this wench is talking about! Now eat this you fucking baby and tell me if sugary shit appeals to you!"

"I- _geh_! Stop! Stop!"

Squalo jumped on Mammon, knocking illusionist on the ground, trying to force sweets in her or his mouth.

"EAT IT! EAT IT!"

Another waitress, smaller than the first one, came running to the table, open-mouthed.

"Whoa," the first one gasped. "So he acts like this towards everyone. I thought he only targeted Vittoria."

"Eh?" The second waitress stared at her in shock. "He jumped on Vittoria screaming _eat it, eat it_ while forcing candy down her throat?"

Her co-worker sweatdropped. "No, no, he wanted her to eat something else … say, Giulia, maybe you're too young to work here."

"Is that why she quit?"

"… that's why she's in intensive therapy now."

"I SAID EAT IT DAMN GENDER DEFECTIVE RUNT!"

"_Captain, stop_!"

Dino observed the pair with a twinkle in his eye and a stupid, open-mouthed smile. "Ehehe, I knew he had it in him."

* * *

**Thank you very much for every review, fave and alert! Reviews, especially, made me happy :) Sorry it's very short.**

**Next chapter will be out soon, dealing with Bel and Lussuria's plans … but does the boss have something up his sleeve too?**


	3. The truth

_31st of May_

_01:00 pm_

_Southern Italy_

_Varia HQ_

_Right wing_

_Third floor_

_Living room_

"I told you naughty officers we should've used my idea," Lussuria scolded his colleagues. "I'll make Mammon-chan wear a nice summer dress fit for a lady, ohoho~" He waved a light green dress with embroidered flowers and a big bow on the back.

"Throw away that ugly thing!" Leviathan took that dress as a personal offense. "It's only natural she should put on something that really brings out her feminine attributes! Look at this!"

He held up a pure white dress, suspiciously similar to the famous one Marilyn Monroe wore. Someone clumsily tried to make it shorter by cutting off almost all of bottom fabric, while using the scissors to deepen the chest area.

"Vooooi! What the fuck-"

"That dress doesn't cover anything," Belphegor interrupted his captain.

Levi failed to see the problem. "So? Jealous?"

Vein popped on prince's head. "Why would I be! As far as Mammon goes, this," he pulled out a pretty lavender colored ball gown, holding a corset in his other hand, "is what would look the best."

"Chi, chi," Flan shook his head. "Senpais are too easy to read. Wouldn't it be better to invite her to a beach and see what kind of swimsuit she wears?"

"Mammon never agrees to go to the beach. Or swimming pool. Or onsen."

"Poor girl. Can't blame her with all of you sticking your pee-pee's in her face."

"Mah! Apologize, right now, Flan-chan!"

"Fucking frog, is that your image of the prince?"

"Die Flan!"

"Voooooiii fucking brat!"

"Che. All I meant was that the stench of testosterone in this place is overwhelming. It goes for boss too."

"Someone kill this piece of shit or the prince will!"

"Don't feel bad, senpais. Shishou is just as bad."

"Shut the fuck up!" Squalo lost his mind. "Focus, you bastards! Here!" He pushed a black and white maid uniform in Lussuria's hands. "Gi-give this … to Mammon …"

Okama blushed madly. "Kyaaaaa~ Squ! Is this your secret-"

"Of course not!"

Outside of the living room, Mammon was walking closer. Slowly approaching the closed door, illusionist stopped upon hearing disturbing sounds coming from inside.

"That's ugly!"

"Your face is ugly!"

"Wear this fucking this yourself, bastard!"

"Wear it!"

"You wear it! I'm going to make that runt wear this-"

"No! She'll wear _this_!"

"Wear that yourself, you disgusting snot! Here! Take this!"

"Fuck off! Take _this_!"

"And _this_!"

"And _this_!"

Mammon tilted her or his head. "Mu?" Illusionist was just about to open the door, when it came swinging open, and Squalo with uncharacteristically red cheeks, dressed messily in a maid uniform, came running out.

"You fucking-"

Swordsman came to an abrupt halt. Mammon stared at him for a long time. In silence.

"Strategy captain Squalo. What you do in your spare time is none of my business, but maybe this maid fetish is getting out of-"

Illusionist suddenly saw Belphegor, dressed as a princess, Lussuria, dressed in a flowery summer dress, Leviathan in … something small, tight and white and Flan, half naked.

The man (and a person of questionable gender) stared at each other silently.

"What the fuck is this noise?" Xanxus strode pass the living room. "I'll kill you-"

Boss froze. His eyes traveled from Maid Squalo, to princess Belphegor, to feminine Lussuria, to whatever Leviathan was, to almost naked Flan.

Shadow fell over Xanxus' eyes. He slowly turned around. Varia listened to his footsteps as he walked away.

_31st of May_

_02:30 pm_

_Southern Italy_

_Varia HQ_

_Right wing_

_Third floor_

_Living room_

"WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?" Squalo, completely bewildered, was pointing at Dino Cavallone, who was waving at him with a stupid smile.

"The prince called him," Belphegor grinned. "You dirty peasants step aside and watch prince's brilliant plan in motion."

Unsuspecting Mammon randomly walked by.

"Oh, Mammon-chan, come here for a second~" Dino gruled like lovebird.

"The second has passed." Illusionist kept walking.

"No, no, wait … come here for a minute then!"

As Mammon came closer and stopped in front of young Cavallone, the latter smiled brightly and shone like a thousand blinding suns – a tactic called "sparkling irresistible heartbreaker" by Romario.

"My lady, never have I seen the eyes so li- uh …" Dino's act broke down. "Ah, eh, uh … Mammon-chan, lift up your hood so I can see your eyes …"

"No."

"It's alright, show them to meee~"

"Don't touch me."

"Mammon-chan …"

"I said _don't touch me_."

At least fifty tentacles sprung from Mammon's face, wrapping themselves around Dino. As illusionist lifted Cavallone in the air, the blonde yelled for help.

"What a disappointment," Bel commented, turning his back on the pair.

"_Aaa … aaa help me! Squalo! Aaah!_"

Squalo, also turning his back to the pair, crossed his arms. "That's because you used Bucking Bronco! I told you nothing works with him."

"_Please, someone, help! Aaah … aaah … the-the tentacles are … aaah …_"

"Who else am I supposed to call if not him? The women seem to like him for some reason."

"_A … a … AH! Squalo, help m-me! The ten-tentacles are … ah … no, don't go there!_"

"Vooooi! I told you already! You should've sweet-talked Mammon yourself!"

"_Aaa … m-my … ah … ah … it's no good … I'm getting …_"

"What would the prince supposed to say?"

"_Ah … ah … that spot … it's that spot … ah … I'm gonna …_"

"Aren't you fucking royalty? I thought you bastards fuck all the time!"

"_Squalo! Help! I'm … I'm gonna … aaaah … I'm c … c …_"

"If you're so confident, captain, why don't you try sweet-talking a woman?"

"I don't want to talk about women!"

"No, Bel-chan," Lussuria approached Belphegor and Squalo with red cheeks, a video camera in his hands, drooling a little at the corner of his mouth. "You were right to call Bucking Bronco. He did have an effect on Mammon-chan … and thank you!" Okama twirled around. "I've good some good footage!"

_31st of May_

_06:00 pm_

_Southern Italy_

_Varia HQ_

_Dining room_

Varia ate in silence. Officers were angry all of their plans failed, with the exception of Flan, whose firm believe was Mammon was female and claimed he doesn't need any proof.

"VOOOOOOI!" Squalo banged his fist on the table. "That bastard isn't here again!"

"Yare, yare." Mammon just walked in the dining room. "Isn't it my decision if I don't want to eat with you?"

Xanxus suddenly stood up, then casually walked by.

"Besides, captain, lately you all have been-"

Xanxus' arm reached forward before the illusionist could do anything. The boss grabbed Mammon's chest area.

Varia froze. Someone loudly dropped a spoon.

Xanxus moved his hand around, massaging Mammon's chest area.

"Hmph. Female."

He walked out of the dining room, closing the door behind him. Mammon, shocked, stood on the spot, speechless.

Leviathan's eye twitched. "M-maybe boss got it wrong. I-I'll check too …"

"Come to think of it, proof wouldn't be bad …"

Both Flan and Levi stood up, only to be assaulted by a sea of knives.

"Don't even think about touching the prince's toy, filthy peasants!"

A drop of sweat came down Mammon's cheek. _They know … they know … this … is … bad …_ Her mouth twitched. _Boss … you … you're just a pervert, you're a closet pervert aren't you? You 're the only one who knows my top-confidential profile, you knew my gender the whole time! C-curse you boss!_

* * *

**Sorry I kept you waiting so long! Thank you for all favorites and follows, but especially for reviews, they mean so much to me! I've grown quite attached to this story, even though it's such a stupid, silly little thing … should I make more than three chapters? Tell you what. If I get a lot of reviews, I will :) I think that's a fair condition. But anyway, thank you for reading it!**


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